Hidden Meaning

Conflict Management Strategy #3 Search for hidden meanings

It is always the case that what our conflicts mean to us is far more profound than the relatively superficial issues we squabble over. In conflict resolution, the deeper you look, the more there is to discover.

Therefore, the best option is to listen to your own inner truth and be willing to reveal these deeper issues to your opponent. By revealing yourself, you invite similar behaviours in return and may thereby break the conflict system.

You may withhold important information in a dispute because you fear being vulnerable to someone you do not trust. You may keep conflict conversations superficial because you lack the language skills to go deeper.

Or perhaps you may fear that by going deeper everything could change including how you define yourself, your opponent, and the issues. It is dangerous to be honest because that gives the other person the right to be equally honest with you.

So yes, there are huge risks with the use of honesty as a conflict resolution strategy. Yet it is nearly impossible to resolve the real reasons for a dispute without being honest.

We know intuitively that honesty is a precondition for transformation.

What price have you and your organisation paid for operating without honesty?

Conflict management strategy #1 Decode the culture

Conflict management strategy #2 Listen Empathetically

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