Conflict Management Strategy #8 of 10
Rather than lecturing others about what they should do to resolve their conflicts, we can lead by being a living example. “Walking the talk” means recognising the value of diversity, dissent, and disagreement.
It requires surfacing hidden tensions, learning from opponents and collaboratively negotiating solutions. Those walking the talk make their own disagreements explicit and respond to their opponents directly and proactively.
The opposite to walking the talk is avoidant, suppressive and aggressive behaviours. When organisational leaders exhibit this type of behaviour others will follow expecting to be rewarded for modelling their boss.
Leaders who walk the talk not only model collaborative and interest-based approaches to conflict resolution, they also enable organisational systems, processes and a culture that promotes participative dialogue and innovative solutions.
Warren Bennis (organisational consultant and author) observed the challenge for leaders to act as “conflict coaches” as being “like having your first child: it is always amateur night”. This because very few organisational leaders are trained in conflict resolution and they feel like amateurs when faced with complex disputes that seem to threaten their authority.
Conflict coaching is a process of working with teams and individuals to understand the sources of their disagreements and identify better ways to be constructive in addressing them and resolving them.
The conflict coach doesn’t just enable disputants to settle their issues, rather the conflict coach supports the organisation so that it learns from its conflicts and so that the organisational culture becomes more effective in resolving similar disputes in the future.
Conflict management strategy #1 Decode the culture
Conflict management strategy #2 Listen Empathetically
Conflict management strategy #3 Search for Hidden Meanings
Conflict management strategy #4 Reframe Emotions
Conflict management strategy #5 Separate Wheat from Chaff
Conflict management strategy #6 Embrace Paradox
Conflict management strategy #7 Learn from Difficult Behaviour
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