The deepest truth is that there is no separation between you and your opponents, other than the illusion that what separates you is important and is unbridgeable. The very moment you find yourself locked in conflict you become inseparable from your opponent, as you care deeply about many of the same things.
The primary reason for our repressive attitude towards emotions in organisations is a pervasive lack of skill in handling intense emotional communications. Daniel Goleman called the ability to recognise, manage and learn from feelings as “emotional intelligence”.
Or perhaps you may fear that by going deeper everything could change including how you define yourself, your opponent, and the issues. It is dangerous to be honest because that gives the other person the right to be equally honest with you.
Collaboration requires the highest level of skill because it requires finding a way of integrating a concern for people with a concern for results and discovering a better way that serves both.
In times of crisis you need to be able to make decisions based on what it right and not on what is most comfortable. When you are really scared – what have you got to hang on to? The only thing is to hang on to is – what is the right thing to do? Because nothing else can be trusted as real.
It is time to reframe mediation. I believe there is an opportunity to reframe mediation from a remedial intervention to one that is both creative and strategic. My hypothesis is that those organisations who master #mediatingthefuture are set to thrive.